


Baby, Look What You've Done to Me

by anauticaleyes



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, F/M, High School, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-01-16
Updated: 2015-08-05
Packaged: 2018-03-07 20:58:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 17,733
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3182966
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/anauticaleyes/pseuds/anauticaleyes
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Niall Horan has just moved from Mullingar, Ireland to attend an elite Preparatory school. He expected hard work and secondary school gossip, but what he did't expect was to fall in love with the front-man of Cheshire's hottest band.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. One

**Author's Note:**

> I do not own any of the characters in this story; however, all ideas are my own. Enjoy!

Moving was normal. Unfortunately, in this day and age, moving because your parents split up was even more normal.

It had ended in July. Officially. Greg, my brother, and I had our choice of who to go with since the whole thing had been civil. Greg decided neither. He was 18 and decided on university instead with holiday visits to either parent. He abandoned me, left me alone to make the choice. So Mum it was.

Mum had decided to move from Ireland to England. She’d found a job, already found someone online, and was ready to go. She’d picked out a school for me and everything. Private, of course, because she didn’t trust public education. Bainbridge Preparatory School for Boys and Girls in Cheshire. I’d been at a private “all boys” school in Ireland, so the it would be weird going to class with girls.

All these thoughts were driving through my head as my cell phone blared it’s alarm at me early in the morning of September. I rubbed the sleep from my eyes and buried deeper underneath the flannel blanket my Dad had gotten for me one year. It was weird to miss your Dad, like society had always told you that you couldn’t. Boys weren’t supposed to miss each other.

I rolled over on to my side and unplugged my cell phone from it’s charger. The time read 6:15. The bus came at 7:00 and I was not interested in getting out of bed.

I heard footsteps outside the door and hushed conversation. I knew it was Mum and her new man, Chris. She had tried to convince me over and over again that things weren’t serious and “Ni, I’m not replacing your Dad”, but it didn’t hurt any less.

I groaned and finally pulled myself out from underneath the warm covers. The cold Cheshire morning air greeted me swiftly sending shivers through my sides. I stumbled to the bath and quickly turned the water to as warm as it would go. Even through the turrets of bathwater I could hear mumbled goodbyes and kisses with proclamations. I wanted to vomit.

Post-shower, I pulled on my new uniform and stood in front of the mirror. I’d opted for the cardigan instead of the blazer and the khaki’s instead of navy slack’s. My blonde hair stood in every which direction even though it was still damp from the shower. It showed no signs of wanting to obey today. I rolled my eyes after messing with it for a few moments before sitting on the bed and pulling on my trainers.

“Ni!” My Mum called up the stairs. “You’re gonna be late, dear.”

Her thick Irish accent made me so homesick. I thought about everything back at home I was missing. I thought about Holly, the only girl I’d ever dated and the first person I’d told I was gay. I thought about Greg and Dad and our old cat. “NIALL!”

My mother’s shrill voice rang out once again. I grabbed my bag and slung it over my thin shoulders. It was now or never.

\---

The city bus stopped one block from Bainbridge Preparatory School. I was the only kid in uniform on the bus and I already knew that my Mum had managed to pick the richest school in Cheshire for me to attend. When I rounded the corner after the bus stop, I knew she was right.

Tight blazers, plaid pants and skirts for as far as the eye can see. It was a nightmare. I heard Northern accent after Northern accent. It was all posh kids complaining about the back to school parties being too lame or their vacation to the States being too short. It was nauseating.

I gripped my class schedule tightly in my hand as I headed for the attendance office. As much of a nerd as it would make me look like, I really needed a map. Bainbridge was huge. I was headed for the main building when I noticed a group of lads in Rugby sweaters. They were all perfectly tanned with lean sculpted bodies. I couldn’t tell if I wanted to be one of them or kiss them.

One boy with a shaved head and perfectly trimmed facial hair broke off from the group and started to walk toward me. I felt my entire body tense. Did I attract that much attention already?

I felt the tension ease as he walked directly past me and in to the arms of a slender girl in a plaid skirt standing behind me. She smiled and kissed him on the cheek before taking his arm and walking in the opposite direction. One strange encounter like that was enough for me today.

I made my way in to the old brick building. More hordes of people passed me by with their uniforms neatly polished. I should have been thinking about friends or something but my mind was currently focused on my empty stomach and trying to find my first class.

There was a small box outside of the attendance office holding a bunch of paper maps of the school. I grabbed one and turned on my heel to find a secluded area to open the map and try and locate all of my classes. As I moved away from the attendance office a firm hand landed on my shoulder.

“You don’t want to be seen walking around with that mate,” a voice said.

I turned to my left to see a boy a bit taller than me. It took a moment but I quickly recognized him as the Rugby player from earlier. My face flushed pink as I quickly balled up the sheet of paper and shoved it in to the back pocket of my khaki’s.

“Well I’m new and I’ve got to find my classes somehow,” I mumbled staring down at my now empty hand.

“Transfer I’m guessing from that accent,” the boy said with a laugh. He pulled his hand off my shoulder and extended it for me to shake. I obliged.

“Yeah, I’m Niall Horan,” I said dropping my hand after shaking his. “From Mullingar, Ireland.”

“That’s a bit far, yeah?”

I nodded my head. I hoped he wouldn’t ask why I’d moved. The last thing I wanted to do was to get in to all the nonsense about my parents and how much I missed home. It was all too much and it honestly just exhausted me to tell the stories over and over again.

“Anyway,” the boy continued on. “I’m Liam Payne, Year 11.”

Liam smiled with all his teeth when he spoke. He was a charming lad, probably a good candidate for a first friend. Mum would be thrilled to see me bring home a polished Rugby player for a study break. I laughed a bit to myself about how fast my mind was already running. I barely even knew the guy yet I was already counting on him as friend.

“I’m Year 11 too,” I said with a smile. I pulled my school schedule out of my other hand and handed it to Liam. “So first on the chopping block is English. Know where room 224 is?”

“Hilarious! That’s exactly where I’m headed,” Liam replied with a charming laugh. His teeth were white and perfectly straight making me feel suddenly self-conscious about about my own braces lining my upper teeth. I was probably the only Year 11 student still with braces.

“Well, mind if I walk with ya?” I asked. Liam nodded and clapped me on the shoulder once again. I shuddered a little at the force of his touch but managed to match my stride with his as we walked down the halls. “So what’s the deal with Bainbridge?” I asked.

Liam waved to a few passerby’s in various forms of the required clothing. “Bainbridge is stupidly pretentious. You’ve got to be rich or smart to get in and both to stay. Which one are you?”

“I don’t think I’m either,” I said with a simple shrug. My parents weren’t poor off but moving to Cheshire had been expensive. Mum had just picked Bainbridge because it look liked a good school. I hadn’t ever thought about it being some type of an elite school.

“You’ll find out,” Liam simply replied. “Or people will find out for you.”

Liam’s words made me nervous. Sure, he was a nice guy, but if what he said about the school was true, could he even be trusted? We rounded a corner where Liam waved to a few more of his classmates. We stopped when we arrived at a dark oak door with the numbers 224 embossed in gold beneath a tinted glass window.

“This it?” I asked.

Liam nodded. “English for Year 11.”

Liam pushed open the door. Utter chaos was waiting behind. Girls sat atop desks with their skirts folded gently over their knobby knees. Boys leaned back against wood chairs practically laughing in to the girls laps. A boy sat in the back of the room with long curly hair pulled back into a bun at the back of his head. He leaned so precariously in his chair that he basically defied the laws of physics. “Oi, Payne! Who’s the cutie?” he asked as we entered the room.

My face unintentionally flushed red. “Can it, Haz,” Liam replied and took the seat next to him. I had been abandoned.

I now was faced with two choices. I could easily sit down at the vacant seat in the front row and actually try this year to make decent grades and think about University, or I could follow Liam, sit in the back next to the boy with the bun and his shirt unbuttoned to show off two tattoos of matching swallows which he couldn’t have gotten legally. I bit at my lip trying to think as quickly as a I could. Two other boys entered the classroom and took the vacant seats around the boy and Liam leaving me with my only option being the front row. I decided it was best and slumped down in to the front row desk.

\---

I didn’t run in to Liam again until my lunch hour. I’d taken Math after English, and History after that. After a blur of winding corridors and rambunctious secondary school students, I’d finally found the dining hall. I wasn’t hungry from nerves so I grabbed an apple from the fruit basket and headed out in to the expansive lawn of Bainbridge. Sitting underneath a tree by a few other boys in Rugby sweaters, I finally spotted Liam. I wandered over that way hoping he’d flag me down so I didn’t have to awkwardly wave and hope he’d pay attention to me. I was fortunate that he did. “Hey, Horan! Come on over!” he said with an excited wave.

I happily obliged and made my way over to the tree. “Hey, Liam. How were your classes?”

“Boring,” he said taking a bite out of an apple of his own. “The real fun is this afternoon. You play Rugby, Horan?”

“I dabble,” I said with a shrug. I’d played on the school team back in Mullingar, but I was more of a football kid. What the hell, I’d try anything once though.

“You should go out for the team,” a boy with an also buzzed head said in a thick Northern accent. “You’re lil’. Should be fast.”

Liam gave me another clap on the shoulder. I was beginning to think this was his way of showing friendship. “Tryouts are next week. We’re all returning players so we’re wearing our shirts for promotional purposes.”

I nodded in understanding. I listened to the boys chat about Rugby for the rest of the lunch hour trying not to interject unless I was two hundred percent certain I knew what I was talking about. I knew a few players they mentioned, but mostly just stayed quiet and ate at the apple I’d grabbed.

The bell rang and Liam followed behind me into the building. “I’m excited you’re going out for Ruby, Horan,” he said as he walked with the flood of students returning to the building.

“Is the “calling people by their last names” thing customary here?” I asked. Liam shrugged his broad shoulders.

“Never thought about it.”

“Well where are you headed next?”

“Chemistry.”

“Same,” I replied with a smile. Liam returned the gesture.

“Well let’s get on mate!”

\---

“I’m home!” I called in to the dark house when I had finally made my trek from the bus stop back home. I saw a note immediately from Mum on the end table by the door. “Stopping at the store. Love you, Ni - Mum”.

I rolled my shoulders and pocketed the note. I walked slowly in to the kitchen and shrugged out of my Bainbridge cardigan. I instantly felt like myself the second I had removed the stiff cotton. It was strange how uniforms worked. It made me feel like I wasn’t an individual person anymore. It made me feel like what I was wearing was existentially more important that who I was individually. I rolled my eyes and lowered my body on to the cool kitchen floor. Greg and I had always laid on the kitchen floor when Mum made dinner and asked her all of our burning questions about the universe. Now, I was alone with more questions that ever.

I loosened my Bainbridge tie and unbuttoned the top few buttons of my shirt. I stared up at the tiled ceiling of the kitchen and sighed. I thought about Rugby. What was I even thinking? Going out for a team? I looked down at my slender and pale freckled arms.

I wanted Greg. I wanted Dad. I wanted to tell them all about school and Liam and Rugby. I wanted to tell them I secretly hated it and that it made me feel unimportant. It made me feel dark gray like the Cheshire sky.

I rolled on to my stomach and pulled my cell phone from my pocket. One text message from Dad. “Hope your day was well.”

I responded with a fake cheery expression of adoration for my new school. I was going to go in to missing him but I decided it was best not too. I just shoved the phone back in to my pocket and decided to lay on the floor until Mum got home.

 ****  
  



	2. Two

By day two I was still surprised when my alarm clock rang out at 6:15 AM. I still struggled to throw myself in the shower, drown out Mum and Chris, and slowly pull myself in to my stuffy Bainbridge uniform. As I clomped down the stairs and in to the kitchen to use my extra few minutes to grab a bite to eat, I saw my Mum sitting at the kitchen table with the news in hand. “Morning, Ni. Excited for school today?”

I shrugged my shoulders and grabbed an apple from our own fruit dish. Repetitive but effective. “I guess,” I replied and then took a bite.

She reached her arms back and pulled me in to an awkward hug. “No matter what you do, I’m proud. As long as it’s not drugs.”

“Thanks Mum,” I said with a sigh. I grabbed the news from the table to have something to read on the bus. She stuck out her tongue as I had stolen her reading. I simply laughed as I waved goodbye and once again headed for the bus.

The ride to Bainbridge reminded me of a rollercoaster. Everything leading up to that one block away was the build up. All up hill, all anticipation. And once you got to Bainbridge, that was the drop.

I felt the drop in my stomach as I stepped off the bus and rounded the corner to see the massive stone structure of Bainbridge staring back at me. My stomach was now in my shoes.

I pushed my body forward and began the descent. As I walked through the gate of the school I already saw Liam and a girl standing together clearly in the middle of an argument.Liam had his hands up in a defensive position while the girl pointed a finger in to his face. “I don’t want to hear it anymore, Liam! I am done!”

She stormed off, plaid skirt swishing behind her. Liam placed his arms at his side with a big sigh. He caught sight of me and made his way over to where I stood. “So I’m guessing you saw that whole fiasco?”

I nodded, not knowing what to say.

“She’s not important, just a girl I had a crush on who apparently did not feel the same way,” Liam explained in a tired voice. He stretched his arms back behind his head and let out a small groan of frustration. “Anyway, you ready for round two?” he asked.

I shrugged my shoulders. “If I have to be.”

I followed Liam in to Bainbridge once again. It was starting to become familiar territory after just one day. I recognized the dark oak wood doors with gold numbers embossed below the tinted windows, the thick stone archways rising high in to the cathedral ceilings, and the hardwood floors that creaked as you made your way to class. I followed closely behind Liam as he navigated the way to room 224 on autopilot. “So, rugby tryouts,” I finally said after a few moments of silence.

“Yeah, what about ‘em?” Liam asked as he slowed his pace to be more instep with mine.

“What all are they gonna have us do?”

“Run the mile probably,” Liam responded. “Then run a few plays. Nothing too exceptional.”

We stepped inside room 224 as the conversation slowly fizzled out. Today the classroom was much less crowded. I couldn’t figure out if we were early or what, but this time I followed Liam to the back of the room and took a seat next to him. We chatted lightly about rugby until the first bell rang and more students began to file in. I was mid-sentence when I noticed the boys whom Liam had been sitting with yesterday crowd in to the room.

The first boy who entered, like Liam, had facial hair but it was a bit more scruffy and unkempt. His brown hair was pushed to one side covering up his forehead and the sleeves of his cardigan were rolled up to show off tattoos. Another boy with a darker complexion and black hair walked in step with him. He had tattoos of his own and his hair was slicked back in to a ponytail at the base of his head. His facial hair was also unkempt like it was just something he couldn’t be bothered to do.

My mind was grumbling about how these boys could get away with so many uniform violations when in he walked. I’d seen him yesterday, the boy with the pulled back curly brown hair, but now, seeing him in the light of day walking straight toward me, I could feel my stomach tighten. He wore a pair of sunglasses to cover up his eyes and the buttons of his shirt were undone yet again to reveal the two swallows, angled downward and nestled softly beneath his accentuated collarbones. I took a deep breath as the boys joined Liam and I at the back of the room and filed in all around us.

“Hey Lou, this is Niall,” Liam said to the first boy who had walked in. “He’s going out for rugby too.”

“Right on, mate.” he said with a wide smile. He reached out his hand for what I assumed was a shake, but he slapped it in a friendly way instead. “The team could use a blonde.”

“You’ll all still look like clones of each other,” the second boy mumbled. He reached in to his backpack and pulled out the days reading. Liam rolled his eyes.

“That’s Zayn,” he said giving the boy his signature pat on the shoulder. “Louis here is on the ruby team too, though. He doesn’t really hang out with us anymore,” he said cutting Louis a look which he only returned with a smile.

“The band’s getting good!” Louis said with contagious excitement. “We could be playing in London this time next year. Isn’t that right, Haz?”

The boy who had done nothing but command my attention since he entered the room turned back in his desk. He had sat in the desk in front of me which now left his face inches from mine. He curled his pink lips in to a slender smile and removed the dark sunglasses he’d been wearing to reveal the most stunning green eyes I’d ever seen.

“You like music, Nialler?” he asked.

I almost choked on the air I was breathing. Not only did he address me, but with his own little pet name? I slowly willed myself to nod and the boy laughed.

“Oh leave him alone, Harry,” Liam said with a frown. “He’s new.”

“Where you from?” Harry asked still staring down my own blue eyes.

“Mullingar,” I stammered. “It’s in Ireland.”

“I can tell by the accent.”

Zayn snickered in to his notebook. My face flushed red and Liam rolled his eyes. “Please ignore Harry. Just cause he’s got a band now, he’s thinks he’s Mick Jagger.”

“No I don’t,” Harry smoothly interjected, never removing his eyes from mine. “I’m a lot better looking than him.”

“Alright, class!”

I was jolted to attention as our teacher entered the room. I silently thanked whatever powers there may be. I could have stared at the boy named Harry all day, but having him stare back? That was a different game entirely.

Class dragged on but once the bell rang, I immediately jolted out of my seat.

“Well. in a rush are we, Nialler?” I heard Harry’s voice say as I threw my notebook in to my bag.

“Just want to make sure I remember where my next class is,” I mumbled. I slung the bag on to my shoulders and started out of the classroom with Harry trailing behind me.

“Well, where are you headed? I can help you find it,” he suggested. His kindness made me worry.

“Math,” I said.

“Well cool,” I’ve got chemistry right next door. I’ll walk with you.”

I looked for Liam, hoping I could send him some sort of signal to come and rescue me, but he was walking in the opposite direction with Louis and Zayn. I silently cursed him as I was now stuck in awkward small talk with Harry.

“What kind of band are you in?” I finally asked after realizing Harry wasn’t going to be going anywhere anytime soon.

“Punk band,” he said with wide grin. “We call ourselves ‘Stockholm Syndrome’. Don’t me to brag, but we’re probably the best thing in Cheshire right now.”

“I secretly think you like bragging,” I played back cooly, thinking about his earlier comments. Harry tilted his head back with laughter letting his loose curls shake.

“You’re not wrong,” he said in between laughs. “Nah, but between Stockholm Syndrome and The New Romantics, we’ve got the Cheshire music scene on lock.”

“The New Romantics?” I asked.

“It’s my girlfriend’s band,” he replied nonchalantly as if he didn’t even hear my heart shatter. “Her names Taylor and she’s the frontwoman, just like I’m the frontman of Stockholm Syndrome. We’re a regular Courtney Love and Kurt Cobain if you ask me.”

“Did Courtney kill Kurt?”

“Technically that’s a rumor, and besides, if Taylor killed me, I’d die the happiest man in the world.”

We stopped in front of two matching oak wood doors. One I would go behind, Harry, the other. Part of me was dying to get away from Harry, to be alone and to process everything that I had just gone through. Yet part of me didn’t want to leave him. I wanted to talk to him, learn everything about him. “When do you have your lunch hour?” I finally choked out, weighing the decisions in my head.

“Period after next,” Harry said with a smile as if he already knew it was when I had mine. Without warning, Harry reached forward and brushed a loose strand of wild blonde hair from out of my face. I blushed an inhuman shade of red.

“See you around, Nialler.”

\---

Ever since Harry had fallen in to my life, it was complete disarray. Every time I turned a corner, there he was with that same toothy grin threatening every wall I had ever put up in my life. He had taken to sitting next to me in first hour English and doing everything in his power to shake my attention. I wasn’t the most studious person, but after Liam’s ominous warning on the first day about being rich and smart, I’d been working as hard as I could to try and define myself as being of some sort of intelligence.

It had been two or three days since I’d first met Harry when he handed me a wadded up piece of paper in the middle of class. I unfolded the crumpled notebook paper as quietly as I could. I smoothed the wrinkled piece over my notebook and looked down at the messy writing.

“You are cordially invited to the Stockholm Syndrome Concert at bar 318. Where? Downtown Cheshire. When? After lame ass rugby auditions. Sincerely, Harry Styles.”

I rolled my eyes so far back in to my head I swore I saw my own brain. I crumpled the sheet and shoved it in to my bag as the bell rang ending the course.

“So you’re gonna come right?” Harry asked putting his hands flat on my desk. “Not for me of course. Zayn and Lou would just be mortified if you were a no-show.”

“I don’t have a car,” I replied as coolly as I could, “Besides, you don’t audition for rugby.”

Harry only rolled his eyes and adjusted the messily rolled sleeves of his blazer. “Whatever. You told me the day we met you liked music, yeah? So why not a good show? The New Romantics are opening?”

As if I didn’t need more of a reason to not go. The last thing I wanted to see was Harry necking with his girlfriend in front of me when he made me sweat like an afternoon in July. “I’m not interested, Styles,” I said as I shook my head and pushed myself into the throngs of people making their way to their next class.

“Liam’s got a car!” I heard Harry yelling from behind me. I heard the steps of his trainers lining in to step with mine. “C’mon. I want you there.”

“You don’t even know me.”

“Precisely my point.” Harry pushed his shoulder in to mine causing my back to collide with a set of lockers. I stumbled and was about to move forward when Harry placed a hand directly next to my face, leaving me trapped between the cold metal of the locker and the warmth of his body. I shivered.

“What the hell are you doing?”

“Well I figured the sexual tension would let you know I was serious,” Harry said with a coy smile.I shook my head and pushed Harry’s body away from mine.

“That’s not a joke to me, Harry,” I said as I readjusted my tie and cardigan and began to walk away.

“What? You like blokes?” He asked. “If you did, I didn’t mean to offend.” He placed a hand on my shoulder in Liam fashion which I quickly shrugged off.

“Too late.”

“Wait for a minute!”

Harry’s desperation was beginning to frustrate me. I had two choices at this point. I could keep pushing him away and spend the rest of my life pretending I didn’t care about stupid Harry Styles and his girlfriend and his band. Or I could try? Because at every point in someone’s life they’d been taken or straight and did any of that matter?

“What?” I finally asked a little too harshly. I spun on the heels of my trainers and turned to face Harry in the now empty hallway. “What?” I repeated this time a little bit softer.

“Liam thinks you’re a good guy,” Harry said leaning against the lockers by the old oak wood doors. “And any mate of Liam’s is a mate of Lou’s is a mate of Zayn’s is a mate of mine.”

“I don’t think you could have made that more complicated if you tried.”

“What I’m trying to say is, I want to get to know you. Come to the concert, please.” Harry’s green eyes had a glassy nature to them, like the kid would cry at the drop of a hat. I ran my hands through my hair in frustration and sighed.

“I’ll talk to Liam.”

Harry instantly jumped in to the air punching a fist in to the sky. “Yes!” he shouted out.

He quickly wrapped his arms around my neck and squeezed tightly. I felt my stomach tighten and my face flush pink for the millionth time that day. Harry Styles had no idea what he was getting himself in to.


	3. Three

I had officially spent one week at Bainbridge and I was finally starting to gain some sense of routine. I’d rolled my alarm back to wake myself up even earlier and try and look decent for school.  Something had changed in a week. I couldn’t tell if it was nerves for rugby tryouts or making friends with the hottest band in Cheshire, but I was happy. I felt my stomach turn with excitement for school for once since the move. I was sitting in first hour English when things felt strange.

I’d walked in to the classroom about ten minutes early to meet up with the boys and as I walked in to the room, it was surprisingly empty. I scanned the room and let my eyes trail over the familiar faces of Liam, Louis, and Zayn. There was no Harry.

Over the past week, Harry had taken to following me. He’d sit next to me in the few classes we had together, follow me through the halls and sometimes even lay his head casually in my lap during lunch causing my face to warm over. He mostly talked about his band. Whatever Stockholm Syndrome had done at band practice the day before or whatever Taylor had done were the most important things in Harry’s life. He still managed, somehow, to always do his homework and make excellent marks. Harry baffled me. I liked it.

But there was no Harry today for the first time in a week. No white button-down with two swallows of inked skin poking out from underneath cotton. No curly brown hair flying wildly around and shedding on to my desk while I tried to take notes. Nothing at all.

“Where’s Harry?” I asked as I slumped in to my desk, trying not to look disappointed that he wasn’t there. Zayn didn’t look up from his notebook. Liam only shrugged his shoulders. Louis was the one to respond.

“Dunno, mate,” he said stretching his slender arms back behind his head. His gray polo shirt rose with his movement showing his hipbones poking out above his slacks. “Prolly taking a rest day. Or with Tay. He’s weird before shows.”

I tried not to be disappointed or at least to not show it. I pulled my books out of my bag and tried to prep myself for class. “Brought your gym bag, eh?” Liam said leaning over my desk to look down at where my bags were cluttered by my seat.

“Well yeah,” I said with a laugh. “Rugby tryouts today.”

“You’re gonna love the team,” Louis said with a smile. “You wanna come to the show tonight? I heard Harry invited you after tryouts.”

So Harry talked about me. He talked about me to his bandmates, unprompted. My throat tightened. “I dunno. I don’t have a car.”

“I do,” Liam threw in. “I can pick you up if you text me your address.”

Did I even want to go? It wasn’t like I’d promised Harry I’d be there. I’d only been in school for week and I was already being invited out. That had to be a good sign. So what was it if I didn’t take the option?

“I’ll think on it,” I finally replied as I opened up my notebook and tried to clear my head before rugby tryouts.

\----

The locker room was swamped with people when the final bell rang and we all made our way to the field for rugby tryouts. Prep school boys were bigger, stronger, and faster than the boys of my catholic school back home. The thought of not making the team made me sweat. What else did I have going for me here?

After my debacle with awkwardly missing Harry all day, I decided that I had to get it together. The last thing I was going to do was attach myself to the first boy I met.

I shoved my bag in to a locker and quickly changed in to gym shorts and a t-shirt. It felt strange to be out of uniform but still on campus. I was pulling on my rugby shoes when I felt the weight of the bench I was sitting on shift. “Excited, mate?” I heard Liam’s voice say.

I nodded and took a deep breath. “Yeah, I guess so. A little bit nervous.”

“You’ll be fine,” Liam said with a cheery smile. “What’s the worst that’ll happen? You don’t make the team?”

Yes, but I didn’t want to let Liam know it meant so much to me. Back at home in Mullingar, I hadn’t really been anybody. Sure, I’d played on the rugby and the football team. I dabbled in music, but was I known for anything like the boys of Stockholm Syndrome or even the rugby players here? No. I just wanted something. Something that would make life less boring. I was sick of living through other people.

“Niall?” Liam’s voice shook me from my thoughts. I smiled and ran my fingers through my blonde hair. “You ready?” he asked.

I nodded and followed Liam out on to the field.

There were plenty of boys lined up on the field already stretching and getting ready to go. The coach entered the field with a gruff look on his face. He had a shaved head liked most of the players and midday scruff forming along his tanned jaw.

I was intimidated to say the least at the uniformity of everyone here. I stretched out my body and joined everyone on the field with Liam. Liam exuded a confidence that I lacked. He instantly scoped out Louis on the field and waved him over to join us. The three of us were standing together when the coach blew the first whistle.

“Alright,” he said in a thick Northern accent. “These are the tryouts for the Bainbridge Prep rugby team. Everyone in the right place?”

A sea of heads nodded in agreement.

“Alright then,” the coach started up again. “First string of cuts will be after the mile. Second string will be after we run practice plays. If you make it through there, you make it to day two. This team is highly competitive. We’ve won our division for the past eight years. Are you ready to hold up that tradition?”

“Yes coach,” the boys responded in perfect unison.

“Excellent. Now make your way to the track, stretch if you haven’t. We’re going to do the mile first.”

I walked with Liam and Louis over to the track feeling the nerves shiver through my body. I was not a good runner. I’d had knee surgery last year and since then, my mile had gained an extra minute thirty. I felt the pressure in my chest as I knew this would determine first cuts. What would Louis and Liam think of me getting cut first round?

“Alright, on your mark, get set, GO!” The coach screamed and blew his whistle. I expected Liam and Louis to instantly take off, but the two hung back at a leisurely stride. They were pacing themselves, that much I knew. I stayed slow and hung back behind them but I couldn’t quite figure out how much of that was me pacing myself or shooting pain running through my knee.

At about the halfway mark, the old school rugby players had begun to sprint. I pushed myself to catch up but somehow fell five or six people behind Liam and Louis. I think I knew at that point.

Important moments flash by your eyes in slow motion. Sure, it doesn’t seem important to royally fuck up a tryout for a sport team, but to me right then, it was. I watched everyone crossing the line. I watched myself cross the line and I watched the people after me cross the line. I wasn’t dead last, a fact that excited me. I gained a sense of hope that I hadn’t done terribly even though I was such a weak runner. I’d get to round two and show them what a good throw I had.

“Alright, line up,” the coach called out. Liam and Louis took their spots on either side of me as all the boys filed in to a line across the field.  “If I call out your name, step forward.”

The coach began a long string of names I had never heard before. Most were new kids, some were returning players. They stepped forward slowly and hesitantly, not knowing if this was the line to be cut or not. I held my breath and stared down at my shoes. I couldn’t decide if I wanted my name called or not. This could be it.

“Horan, Niall,” the coach said. I stepped forward. I was the last person called. It suddenly felt like there were miles between me and where Louis and Liam stood. How could they not have been called if this was the second round line? Their mile had been better than mine?

It hit me the second the coach opened his mouth. I didn’t even hear the words. I just watched him mouth ‘I’m sorry’ and I knew I’d been cut first round. Disappointment seeped through my veins as I turned back and received several pats on the back from Liam and Louis who clearly felt like they were the ones to blame for initially convincing me to try out. “It’s not a big deal,” I said with a strong smile. “I just wanted to see what it’d be like.”

“ There’s always next year, Nialler,” Liam said. My face flushed pink at the affectionate name. Liam wanted me around next year. Liam was my friend.

“Thanks Liam,” I said with another smile. I patted both him and Louis on the shoulder before leaving the field with the rest of the boys who had been cut. We all went in to the locker room to change out and then I made my solo journey to the city bus stop. My uniform now felt stiff and hot on my body. I hadn’t bothered showering after the mile since no one else did and I didn’t want to look like the one wimp who’d sweat so much after a mile he needed a shower.

I boarded the bus and took my usual seat in the back next to the window. I pressed my face against the cool glass and shut my eyes. I’d failed. My charm couldn’t get me out of this one. I plugged my headphones in to the jack of my phone when I saw I had an unread text message. It was from a number I didn’t recognize but I unlocked my phone to view the message anyway.

“Hey mate it’s Liam. Text me ur address so I can get u for the show tonite.”

The Stockholm Syndrome concert had completely slipped my mind. After getting cut from the team, I didn’t know if I even had the motivation to socialize. I tucked my phone in to my pocket and tried not think about it as the bus rounded the corner and brambled on back toward my new home.

\----

I’d cooked dinner to try and lighten my mood. Something about the rhythmic chopping of vegetables, the even measuring of ingredients, and the warmth of my small stove helped ease my nerves. Mum knew the second she walked in the door and I had our old Jamie Oliver cookbook out that I hadn’t made the team. She didn’t say anything. She just wrapped her arms around my waist and asked if I’d added salt to the pasta water.

I’d forgotten all about the concert yet again. I was upstairs in my room, folding my Bainbridge uniform begrudgingly when I heard my cell phone vibrating against my bedside table. The caller identification read Liam.

I  sighed and weighed the options in my hand if I even wanted to answer the phone. Was it worth it? I went out plenty in Ireland, but now it just didn’t seem enticing. I did, however, owe it to Liam to at least answer the phone.

“Hello?” I said as I picked my phone up off the table and placed it in the crook between my shoulder and ear.

“Hey!” Liam sounded rather cheerful. He’d probably made it to the second round. I tried not to hold it against him. It wasn’t his fault I had a bad knee and my mile was shit,

“What’s up?” I said as I sat down on the edge of my bed.

“Well, I was wondering if you still wanted a ride to the show tonight,” Liam asked. “I haven’t heard from you since tryouts.”

“Yeah, I dunno mate,” I said with a sigh. I leaned backward and let my body collide with my mattress. The shock of the fall made me bounce a little. “It’s a weeknight. I don’t think my Mum would be really keen on me going out.”

“Don’t tell her.”

Liam didn’t strike me as the kind of guy who broke many rules. He was always so attentive in class and polite to everyone. The clean-cut rugby star. So why risk it? I looked up at the tiled ceiling and sighed. “I’m honest, ok? I’m real down about rugby and I don’t feel like going out.”

“Oh Nialler,” I heard Liam say on the other end. His voice dropped with concern. “No one new made the team. Or at least made it to second round. I don’t want it to bum you out.”

“It’s hard for it not too. It just makes me feel...”

“Unwanted?”

“Yeah.”

“Well I know someone who really wants to see you at this show tonight,” Liam said and I could hear the smile in his voice as he spoke.

“Who?”

“Harry.”

I groaned. Harry who had blown me off in class. Harry who’d relentlessly pestered me for the past week. Harry with the stupid smile and Harry with the girlfriend in a punk band. “You don’t know that.”

“I know Harry,” Liam said in a matter of fact tone. “And Harry doesn’t say that to everyone.”

I wanted to yell in to the phone that Harry was a tease and Liam wasn’t making things any easier, but instead I pushed myself off the bed and stared in to the mirror at myself. My hair was still in disarray, pretty punk rock. I wore a solid black t-shirt and an old pair of worn denim. I took a deep breath and stared down my own eyes.

“Alright, I’ll text you my address.”


	4. Four

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, sorry for the delay in updating. It's been a while since I've visited this fic, but I'm really enjoying updating it so I hope you enjoy reading it!

I was waiting on the curb in the cool nighttime air when Liam pulled up in the most beat-up car I think I’d ever seen. It was rusted, I could tell that much even in the dark. It pulled up to the curb making a set of groaning noises that no car ever should. I wondered if the noise would wake my Mum, though I doubt she’d even care. She’d probably encourage me to go out. I’d just told Liam she’d be unhappy to try and get out of all this. Now, as I watched Liam crank down the window of his car, I knew I was stuck.

“Your chariot awaits!” Liam yelled out over the soft rock music he was playing through what I could only assume was actually a tape deck. I glanced back at my house where the lights had all been dimmed. Mum was with Chris and I was alone. I had no other option.

“Not much of a splurge, eh?” I said as I pulled the car door open and plopped my body down on to the ripped leather seat.

“She’s got character,” Liam said slapping the console. He had a wide grin on his face and his cheeks were pink from the chilly night air. He put the car in to drive and began to take off down the empty street. “You excited? Stockholm Syndrome shows are the best.”

“I’ve never really been in to punk music,” I said as I looked out through the window. “It’s not really my scene.”

“What is your scene?” Liam asked with his eyes still focused on the road.

“I don’t think I really have one, I guess. I dunno, it’s not a big deal to me.”

“I like that about you Niall,” Liam said with a smile. He reached forward and turned the volume of the tape deck down so he could speak over it. “You’re just you. You don’t try and be who you aren’t.”

Liam’s comment puzzled me. How could he think I was so true to myself if I didn’t even know who I was? I sighed and kept my stare focused on the window. I'd had enough soul searching for one day. Liam seemed to take the note and turned the volume on the tape deck. A muffled guitar riff shot out from the speaker and low grumble of a voice rang out in harmony. Liam tapped along the leather steering wheel as he pushed the car along the highway.

\---

The club was what I expected and somehow, that disappointed me more. It was dark, yet the lights cast an eerie green shadow over the semi-crowded bar. Girls that looked much too old for Liam and I were crowded to the front of the stage gently tapping their feet to the music playing softly over the loudspeaker. "Where's the band?" I asked Liam as we stepped inside and headed to the bar.

"Not on yet," he replied. "The New Romantics will play first and then Stockholm Syndrome." Liam sat down on a bar stool and I followed suit sitting next to him. He wasn't old enough to drink and neither was I.

"Just water," I said and he nodded as if reading my mind.

I laughed as he waved to the bartender and got a bottle of water. As we sat on the rickety old wooden stools, more people began to crowd it. They surrounded us at the bar begging for a pint or shot. They seemed more like they were here for the booze or atmosphere, not for Harry's band. "I thought Stockholm Syndrome was really popular?" I asked Liam who was turned around in his seat staring at a girl near the front of the stage in combat boots and ripped tights, or not really what I would have pegged for Liam's type.

"Kind of. This is a new venue for them so they've got a new crowd to impress."

"How long have they been playing?" I continued as I unscrewed the cap off my bottle and took a deep swig.

"About six months or so," Liam replied. "I used to be in it, you know."

I raised a curious eyebrow. "Really? You don't strike me as very punk."

"I'm not," Liam laughed. "The scene was all a bit much for me. I still like visiting every now and then, though."

The conversation was interrupted as a tall slender girl began to make her way to the stage. Her short hair was messy with random streaks of pink illuminated in the green light. Her lips were painted a bright red. Liam's smiled as he watched her attentively. The other girls assumed their positions behind their various instruments and microphones, but the girl with the bright red lips commanded the attention of the whole room. Her thin body framed with a pair of high waisted shorts and a cropped tshirt towered over the microphone. "Hello," she said in an American accent as she leaned in to the metal. "We're the New Romantics."

She turned over her shoulder and with a nod the bass began to play. Seconds later, the whole room was filled with loud punk music. Guitar riffs floated through the green club lights and mixed with a heavy drum beat to make a perfect cocktail in my ears. Liam had stood from his stool and was beginning to wade his way to the front of the crowd. Not knowing what else to do, I followed closely behind him as he pushed up tongue stage.

Up front and close, Taylor was incredible. Her long legs navigated the stage like it was second nature. She stepped over and in between cords, letting the microphone press gently to her lips. I was so close I could see where her lipstick had left a mark on the silver.

Somehow, Liam knew every word. A song would pass and as if Liam knew the whole set by heart, he would join in to the next song before Taylor could even sing her first note. His head bobbed to the beat and I would occasionally see his hips swing back and forth with the tune. It was another world.

It was nothing I had ever seen before. Even when i wanted to turn to see what the others in the crowd thought, I couldn't take my eyes off of Taylor and the band. Without warning, Taylor placed the mic in its stand and bid everyone a good night. Frantically, I looked at Liam. "Where's she going? Is she ok?" I shouted over the crowd screaming for more.

Liam laughed loudly. "That was the set! They played a bunch!"

I nodded slowly but I still didn't quite comprehend. I wanted more, desperately. It was a drug. One hit and I was hooked. It was then that I remembered there was still going to be Stockholm Syndrome. What if they weren't as good as Taylor? But what if they were even better?

Liam clapped a hand on my shoulder and smiled. He mouthed that he was going to get more water then quickly disappeared in to the crowd leaving me alone at the stage. My mouth was dry too but Liam was gone before I had the chance to even ask him. I sighed and turned my attention back to the stage. Before I could even blink, Harry Styles was on the stage crouched down so his face was level with mine."Hey there," he said with a devilish smile.

I could feel my body jump. "What the hell."

"Well it is my concert so it's kind of expected that I'd be here," Harry said with a laugh. "Why? Did I scare you?"

"Yes," I replied without missing a beat. "You scared the fuckin' hell out of me."

Harry continued to laugh and straightened his frame so he was much farther above me on the stage. He adjusted the microphone and then turned to busy himself with the rest of the setup. I turned to my right and found that Liam had begun to appear. "Miss anything?" He asked shoving a bottle of water in to my open hand.

I looked to Harry on the stage, bent over the drum kit with someone I did not recognize. I shook my head no. Liam smiled and turned back to the stage.

The crowd had some how grown even thicker in the few moments that Liam had been gone. Now the two of us were pressed awkwardly together and even closer to the stage. I now had a front row seat to the crazy gold ankle boots Harry Styles was wearing. What was with this kid?

“‘Ello everyone out there!” He said into the microphone. At first everyone seemed to be fixated on their beers and conversations. A few heads looked up but Harry couldn’t even command the audience that Taylor had.  He cleared his throat and screamed into the microphone again. “I SAID ‘ELLO EVERYONE!”

The crowd began to lightly hoot and holler in response. Harry grinned and looked down to where I stood. I felt my face flush red.

“Thank you all for coming out tonight and thank you to the beautiful New Romantics for warming things up for us!” Harry stepped back from the microphone and clapped along with the rest of the crowd. He took a swig of water before placing the bottle he was holding on to a barstool behind him. “Now, we are Stockholm Syndrome!”

At the ending of his words, a thick bass line began to play and much like the New Romantics, the band tore in to this electrifying music that lit up my entire body. The drum beat slammed in to my ear drums as Harry screamed lyrics into the mic. I couldn’t understand him, but his presence was so empowering, I would have done anything he said.

I watched Zayn and Louis complement each other on the guitar and bass as they whirled around the stage. Even Harry would jump in to their dance occasionally and all three would spin about like crazed maniacs.

It was insane. It was fantastic. I looked to Liam who was shouting the words louder than the band and grinning ear to ear with a girl next to him who knew the words too. I’d never had sex in my life, but this was what it must have felt like. No, this had to be better.

I was once again genuinely shocked when the set ended, but the crowd wouldn’t let. Girls shrieked at the top of their lungs behind me for an encore, and finally the band came out and played a few more songs.

By the time they had officially exited, my ears were ringing and the grin I had on my face couldn’t go away if I even tried.

“What did ya think?” Liam asked as we watched the roadies start to come out and collect amps. The soft ambient music of the club had returned but was drowned out by the loud conversation and the ringing in my ears.

“It was incredible, mate!” I screamed a little too excitedly and Liam, who must have been used to the loud music, jumped back a bit startled.

“Well let’s go back and tell ‘em you liked it!” Liam yelled back, though not quite as loud as I had been. Somehow thinking about seeing Harry, Louis, and Zayn now felt intense. After seeing them perform, they were rockstars. They were incredible! What could I possibly say to them?

Liam grabbed me by the arm and we weaved our way through the crowd to the hallway leading backstage. A tall burly man in a black t-shirt stood with his arms crossed in front of the open door leading in to the back. His face relaxed when he saw Liam and moved out of the way to allow us entrance.

The back hallway was made of thick red brick that muffled the sounds of the noisy club. Lights dimly illuminated the maze-like hallway and I decided to stay close behind Liam who seemed to know his way around. After a few twists and turns, we finally saw Zayn and Louis laughing with a group of girls. Louis’s face brightened when he saw Liam and I could have sworn I saw Zayn crack a smile.

“You were on point tonight!” Liam said slapping Louis on the back. He plopped down on a ratty sofa where one girl I recognized from the New Romantics was sitting.

“Thanks mate!” Louis responded enthusiastically. He walked over to where I stood and gave my arm a tight squeeze. “Well, were you impressed?”

“Impressed?” Liam said before I could even open my mouth. “The boy basically had a religious experience.”

I chuckled and nodded. “He’s not wrong.”

“My first punk show was like a baptism too, you know,” Zayn said with a gentle laugh. he gave me a genuine smile and I felt for the first time since I was in Cheshire that I belonged.

It suddenly hit me, however, that Harry and Taylor were nowhere to be seen. I wanted to talk to Harry, to tell him how amazing he was. Of course, I wanted to tell Taylor too, but obviously Harry was my number one priority.

“Where’s Harry?” I asked to the room in general. A few shoulders shrugged in response.

“Probably in the dressing room,” Zayn said. He stretched his arms out over his head pulling up the edges of his gray t-shirt. “He was asking about you.”

My throat went dry. Of course Harry asked about me, but he’d seen me at the show? What did he want?

“What about me?” I asked.

Zayn shook his shoulders in response. “You’ll have to find him, mate.”

I imagined Harry got some sort of thrill from having people chase him. I pictured him setting up elaborate clues for Taylor just so she could find the location of their first date and when she arrived, he probably wasn’t even there. I sighed and exited the room and back into the maze of a hallway they called the backstage. I wandered past the exposed brick and lightbulbs and down a few corridors until I saw a black door with words “dressing room” painted on it in silver. Harry was a high schooler in a punk band, so why he needed a dressing room befuddled me.

I slowly pushed the door open, careful not to startle him, but when I caught sight of what was happening inside, I wished I had just thrown the door open and gotten it over with. At first all I could see was skin. A tanned back with an exposed spine leaning over the sofa and mess of blonde hair with hands, delicate long fingers, running through it.

I peered in further and saw him. His face pressed into her exposed neck, those delicate pink lips parted mid gasp. I was staring and Harry Styles while he was having sex. I stood dumbfounded, not knowing what to do. My heart was racing and I could feel my dinner threatening to make a reappearance. How could this happen?

Just then, Harry’s eyes snapped open and I slammed the door shut. I leaned back against the wall and tried to catch my breath. The world was spinning and I couldn’t breathe. I knew Harry had a girlfriend and I knew he was taken and I knew it. I knew it, but right now, it hurt all the same. I hurt because Harry had a girlfriend and it took me until walking in on the two of them fucking to realize I liked him. 

Tears began to pool in my eyes as I finally heard the door slam open. A disheveled and wide eyed Harry stared at me and my swollen face. I only shook my head and walked away.


	5. Chapter 5

I didn’t want to go to school. The last thing I wanted to see was stupid Harry with his stupid girlfriend and God, this was the worst. My ears were still ringing from the night before as I pulled myself from underneath the blankets and into the shower. The familiar sounds of Chris and my mum gently chatting in the halls was enough to send me over the edge. I angled myself over the shower drain and emptied the contents of my stomach. I wiped at my mouth and quickly let the shower water wash the stomach bile down the drain.

As I stepped out of the bathroom with a towel wrapped around my waist, my Mum was sitting on the edge of my unmade bed. Worry was plastered across her face. “Ni, I heard you get sick. Are you alright?”

I nodded and shook my head. “I’ve got to get ready, Mum.”

“If you got sick, you shouldn’t go to school.”

I sighed. I had to go. I had to face Harry. If I hid from him, when would I even be able to deal with all this. I couldn’t exactly explain this to Mum, however. “I’m fine,” I said with a forced smile. I gave her a kiss on the cheek in order to try and reassure her. “It was a fluke. I feel better now.”

She smiled in return, told me she loved me, and then headed out of the room. I quickly dressed myself and tried to fix my mess of a face. Dark bags hung under my eyes making my swollen lids that much more prominent. How long had I cried last night? I shook my head and pushed myself out of the room and down the stairs. It was now or never.

\---

I sauntered into English early enough to take a seat next to Liam who has dozing with his face buried in his arms. I lightly tapped him on the shoulder and watched as he drowsily sat up. “G‘morning mate,” he said with a sleepy grin. “You feeling better?”

I had just told Liam I felt sick last night and that was why I rushed out in a hurry and begged him to go home. He hadn’t thought anything of it and didn’t press the issue. “I’m feeling alright,” I said with a deep sigh.

That was the honest truth, until Harry walked in. He entered the room with a certain swagger. Sunglasses covered his glassy green eyes. He scanned the room gently before his eyes fell on me. I expected him to hesitate, to blush from embarrassment at what I’d seen, but no. Instead he just grinned and slumped into his usual seat in front of me. “Morning, Nialler,” he said with a wide grin.

Did I ignore him? Or did I pretend that nothing had happened? I swallowed hard and tried to catch my breath. Just as I was about to say something, Zayn and Louis entered the room and immediately distracted Harry. I sighed a breath of relief.

The rest of class dragged on. I watched Harry’s curls bounce back and forth as he scribbled notes into the margins of his papers. He rarely wore his hair down, but today his curls were completely free. I was tracing one strand of hair as if it were a breadcrumb trail, leading me to the home of Harry’s scalp when the bell rang, violently shaking me from my thoughts.

Harry quickly pushed himself out of his seat and headed for the door. I gathered my things and started that way as well when I realized Harry was waiting for me. “Can I help you?” I asked, a little bit cooler than intended.

“You’re next class is near mine, remember? I thought we’d walk,” he said with a shrug.

Frustrated, I obliged and watched as Harry followed me down the hall. He didn’t say much. He just trailed at my heels like some sort of lost dog. I finally stopped outside of the classroom door and turned around sharply. He practically bumped into me he was following so closely behind. “Did you want something?” I asked in a frustrated tone. He hadn’t been saying anything the entire walk.

“Did ya like the show?” he asked with a cheesy grin. Really? He had the audacity to ask me that? I balled my hands up into fists. I could have punched him I was so frustrated. He had to know he was leading me on!

“It was fine,” I said through grit teeth. Harry only continued smiling.

“Look, how much of Cheshire have you actually seen?” Harry asked. His northern accent grew thicker when he said the county’s name.

“Not that much. I’ve seen Bar 318 and my neighborhood, that’s about it. Why do you care?”

“I want to take you out,” Harry said. My heart practically stopped. How was this happening?

“Harry, I saw...’

“I know,” he cut me off before I could finish my sentence. “And I’m sorry, but let me make it up to you. As a friend.”

The word friend could be the happiest word in the world or the most heartbreaking. I knew which way I felt about it. This was Harry’s way of telling me he wasn’t interested and I was heartbroken.

“Fine,” I said with a sigh. “Get my address from Liam.”

Harry gave me a pat on the shoulder and smiled. Our eyes met and I felt my breath catch in my throat. There was no way I could think of Harry as a friend, not when he looked at me like that.

\---

Harry hadn’t told me when he was showing up. Somehow, that didn’t shock me. I was tapping at my acoustic guitar when I heard my Mum gently padding up the steps. “Ni, you’ve got a friend here,” she said as she softly poked her head through the door to my room.

“I know. Sorry I forgot to tell you he was coming,” I said as I slid my guitar back into its case.

“You’re fine, sweetie,” she said with a warm smile. “I’m just happy to see you’re making friends. He’s handsome, you know.”

I groaned. That was the last thing I needed to hear. I pushed myself out of my room and started down the stairs where Harry Styles was waiting at my landing. His long hair was a mess around his face and he wore a long black coat that came down to his knees. The swallows were exposed as he wore a black oxford shirt that was unbuttoned haphazardly. “Well hey,” he said with a bright grin.

He looked so handsome, standing there in my house. I hadn’t thought about our worlds ever colliding the first day I met him. I suddenly felt self-conscious over my tiny row-house and the worn cotton baseball tee I was wearing. “Hey,” I finally choked out in response.

“Ready?” He asked. I nodded and followed him out the door. There was no car outside so I was a bit confused as to how we were going to do anything. “I don’t drive,” Harry said sheepishly. “I figured we’d take the bus to our first destination!”

“First? As in there’s more than one?”

Harry nodded with his signature grin. “Come on then!” Harry’s tanned fingers laced through mine and began to drag me up to the corner of the street where the bus stop was. That’s right, we were holding hands.

My face was beet red as we reached the stop and our fingers unwound from each other. Harry shoved his hands in his pockets and plopped down against the wooden bench, obviously thinking nothing of what had just happened. Friends could hold hands right?

The bus headed into Chester finally rolled up and Harry quickly jumped out of his seat. “This is us!” He said with a smile. I nodded and followed him on to the rush hour bus.

“Where are we even going?” I asked as I followed Harry to the back of the bus and took my seat next to him. He sat by the window and, like a small child, he pressed his nose up against the glass.

“To the Chester Zoo, of course!” he said without taking his eyes off the road whirring past us. It was a beautiful sight. The ways the trees blurred to globs of green and the gray pavement mixed with white streetlines, turning everything into a surrealist painting. Harry’s amazement was kind of beautiful too.

“Won’t the Zoo be closed by the time we get into Chester?”

“It’s only four o’clock. Zoo doesn’t close til six. That’s two hours to show you what I want to show you.”

What I want to show you. So Harry had been planning this? For how long? Harry had told me he was taking me out as a friend, but now I was starting to doubt it.

“So Nialler,” Harry said peeling his attention away from the passing streets. “What brings Mullingar’s finest to the county of Cheshire?”

“I don’t like talking about myself,” I mumbled, looking down at my hands that had been neatly folded in my lap. It was true. I didn’t want to talk about Mum and Chris, or the divorce, or Greg leaving. I didn’t want to talk about home and Holly and being the only gay kid on my football team. Suddenly I saw Harry’s tanned hands fold gently over mine and his glassy green eyes focused with my own of blue. “Harry, what are we doing?”

The words slipped out of my mouth before I could stop them. I’d known this boy about a week and two days and I liked him. I really liked him, but he was gorgeous and had a girlfriend and I was awkward and had anything but.

“I want to be your friend, Ni,” Harry sad softly. He drew his hands back slowly and focused back on the passing scenery. “So stop shutting me out already.”

I kept my gaze back down on my hands as the bus crawled to a stop at the Chester Zoo. Harry whipped his head around and focused back on me with a smile like the whole past few minutes hadn’t even happened. He quickly climbed over me and began to rush off the bus, practically losing me in the crowd of people. I only sighed as I waded through businessmen with their wives and children, scrambling to get off as well.

I finally found Harry at the entrance gate holding two tickets in his hands. “You bought my ticket?”

He nodded, shaking his hair wildly about. “Don’t worry about it, mate. We’ve got something to see!” Harry handed his tickets to the lady at the turnstile and watched as she tore them and let us in to the zoo.

I’d been to the Zoo back home plenty of times. My Mum took Greg and I to the Dublin Zoo when we were kids and it was our favorite place to be. We’d love seeing the monkeys dance around and watching the otters hold hands as they swam. It was magic. But there was no way Harry could have known I loved the zoo.

Upon first entering the zoo, Harry took off down the path. “I’ve got to show you something,” he said, racing ahead. I wanted to stop and look at everything. The first display was the elephants and that was just incredible! How could you pass by the elephants? Harry wasn’t interested, however. He was making his way down the path as if he were on a mission, which I guess in hindsight he really was.

The sun had started to set and gentle chill settled over the zoo. I watched streaks of orange and purple dapple the sky and illuminate Harry’s soft face. Even when focused, his gaze was so gentle. We crossed practically the entire zoo when Harry finally broke into a smile and took off running. With my arms folded around me to keep warm, I briskly walked over to the gate where he stood.

“Ta-da!” He called out in excitement. At first all I could see were trees. There were hundreds of them, thick and green and lush green grass surrounded the area as well. There were several decorative rocks and a small pond too. It was beautiful, but I didn’t understand. “I don’t get it Harry,” I said scratching at my head. I quickly pulled my arms back to cover my bare forearms.

“Are you cold, mate?” Harry asked with a confused look. He had been smart enough to wear a coat, knowing we’d be out this long. Before I could even shake my head, Harry was sliding out his coat and placing it around my shoulders. “I wear it more for a fashion statement than anything,” he said with a cheeky grin.

I tried not to blush. I shoved my arms into the warm sleeves of Harry’s jacket and looked around at the display. Slowly, a small black mass began to approach us from the other side of the glass. I squinted and it raised itself up on its hind legs. It was a very small black bear, with streaks of blond running through its fur. It was quite tiny, but also very cute. I smiled as it waddled its way up to the glass like it wanted to say hello.

“This,” Harry said pointing to the bear, “is Franka!” He pressed his nose against the glass and began to make faces. If the bear had understood what was happening, I’m sure she would have laughed.

“Did you name her?” I asked.

Harry shook his head. “That’s her official name. She’s a Spectacled Bear. Ever heard of them?”

“No.”

“Well, they inspired one of the most famous stories ever!”

“Which is...?” I said rolling my hand and trying to get Harry to stop dragging out whatever he was trying to say.

“Paddington Bear!” He said as if it had been obvious all along. “Paddington Bear is a Spectacled Bear! And what is more English than Paddington?” He grinned.

It was sweet. I laughed a bit and smiled. “I love Paddington,” I said as I turned to face Franka who had plopped down directly in front of the glass and was now scratching her stomach. “My brother used to read the stories to me.”

“That’s another thing,” Harry continued on. “They’re very secretive creatures. We don’t know anything about them because, well, they won’t let us in.”

I looked at Harry the same time he looked at me. The wind whipped through his long curls and his soft pink lips curled into a delicate smile. He’d had this planned for a while. “Alright, I’ll give you until we reach the gate to ask me anything you want, Styles,” I said begrudgingly.

It was a crazy idea, letting Harry Styles in, but I might be the only one crazy enough to do it. Harry grinned as wide as he could at my proposition. “Well then, Horan, we will never make it to the gates.”

I rolled my eyes and started walking back in the direction of which we came, Harry trailing at my heels. He was silent at first, and then decided to take me up on the opportunity. He started out nosey at first.

“What’s your middle name?”

“James,” I replied curtly. I didn’t like it. It was a bit too plain for me.

“You’re left handed, aren’t you?”

“How long have you been watching me, Styles?” I asked with a raised eyebrow. Harry only laughed in response.

“You have to answer!”

“Fine. Yes, I am.”

“Why’d you move here?”

I bit at my lower lip and focused my gaze back on to the ground. “My parents divorced and my Mum has custody. My Dad has full visitation rights and everything, but he’s back in Ireland.”

Harry nodded. “My parents split up too. Figured that’s why you had moved here. Just was afraid to ask. Siblings?”

“One, older.”

“Well, well, we do have quite a bit in common! Same here. Sister.”

“Brother.”

The gate was in sight now. I slipped my arms out of the sleeves of Harry’s jacket and delicately handed it back to him. “Not sure I have time for another adventure tonight, Styles,” I said as I looked up at the darkening sky. How had it gotten so late?

“One more question,” Harry said, folding his coat over his arms. “When is your birthday?’

“Two days from now,” I said, wishing he hadn’t asked. It’d be my first birthday without Dad or Greg. Worst of all, it was a school day and that was just the worst. “Please don’t do anything for me. Not that I think you would...I’m just not a birthday person.”

“Noted,” Harry said as we exited through the turnstile and back to where the bus was just pulling up. “So no more questions, huh?”

I laughed. “Maybe if you’re nice to me, you can ask a few, but I can’t promise I’ll be honest.”

Harry laughed as we boarded the bus. He slid in to the window seat and I sat down next to him. We drove off into the setting sun and I felt my eyelids begin to droop. Before I knew what was happening, I was waking up with my head against the window and Harry’s jacket draped across my body. It was my stop. I had fallen asleep and Harry was nowhere to be found.

I groggily got off the bus and paid my fare. I slipped my arms back into Harry’s coat and walked back into the house trying to process the day and trying my hardest not to miss him, but that was impossible.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I'm LOVING writing this fic again so expect rapid updates! I hope you guys are enjoying it to! Feel free to share this fic with your friends and leave comments/suggestions! Thanks to everyone who has even opened this page. You guys are the reason I write <3


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was totally my favorite chapter that I've written so I really hope you guys enjoy it!! If you're interested, you can follow me on tumblr at nataliegray.tumblr.com ! If you leave a message in my ask, I'll definitely get back to you. Same thing if you comment on here. Thanks so much for reading and enjoy!

“Happy birthday to you.”

I rubbed my eyes and glanced over at my clock. Surely enough, it was time to wake up.

“Happy birthday to you!”

Was someone singing? I rolled on to my other side to see my mother gently bent over the bed, plate of pancakes in hand with one candle burning brightly in the center.

“Happy birthday, my dear Niall. Happy birthday to you!” I smiled at the kind gesture. My Mum was a sweetie and I loved her so much. Mostly because she hadn’t grilled me for all the details the other day when I’d come home with Harry’s coat.

“G’morning, Mum,” I mumbled as I pulled myself up on to my pillows. She gestured the pancakes forward and I took the hint. I quickly drew in a breath and blew out the singular candle, careful to think about my wish.

I tried not to wish for Harry, but the second that I sucked in the air, he was the only thing on my mind. Good thing pancake wishes don’t really count. “Get up, or you’ll be late for school,” Mum said as she headed out of the room. “These will be waiting for you.”

I showered and dressed quickly so I had time to go downstairs and eat with Mum before leaving for school. I was straightening my tie as I bounded down the stairs and into the kitchen. My trainers squeaked as I screeched to a halt. Chris was sitting at the table with Mum.

“Eat up, Ni!” She said, not even looking up from her paper. Slowly, I sat down at the edge of the table and pulled the plate towards me. Chris just sat with his coffee cup in hand with a stupid smile plastered across his face.

“Happy birthday, Niall.”

I felt sick. Why was this man at my table on my birthday? Had my mother lost her mind? I wanted to scream. I couldn’t do it. “I’m not hungry,” I said pushing the plate toward Chris and pulling myself up from the table. “I’ve got to go or I’ll be late.”

I heard my mother calling out behind me but I drowned it out. I grabbed Harry’s coat and made my way for the bus.

\---

I had told only Harry it was my birthday. I’d been praying the whole bus ride to school that Mum wasn’t mad and that Harry had told no one. I hated today.

I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket and pulled it out to see a text message from Greg.

“Happy “you day” lil Ni. Miss you.”

I felt tears pooling in my eyes. I sunk down against a tree in the front lawn of the school. How had things ended up so wrong so fast? I was wiping at my eyes with the back of Harry’s coat when a shadow fell over my body. Great, it was probably Liam who was going to see me crying at freaking school of all the places to be. How lame was that? He was probably going to hate me, never invite me to another Stockholm Syndrome show and...

“Nialler?”

I looked up in to the sun and saw Harry standing over me. Concerned was plastered across his face. I wiped my eyes quickly and stood up as best as I could. My legs were shaking and I was sure my eyes were swollen. Why did I have to be the emotional one?

“Hey,” I said, trying to play it cool, but I knew I looked a wreck. I shrugged my body out of Harry’s coat and quickly handed it to him “You weren’t at school yesterday so I kept it. I hope that’s ok.”

“Niall, what’s going on?”

I shook my head. I couldn’t talk about it. All the thoughts would start flooding and then suddenly I’d just be a mess all over again. “Please don’t make me talk about it,” I whimpered softly.

Without another word Harry wrapped his arms around me, tight, His chest pressed against mine and I felt my body soften in his grasp. I rested my face in the crook of his neck and breathed in his thick after shave. Evergreen. Harry Styles smelled like evergreen.

I pulled away quickly, trying not to lose myself in his embrace. Harry pulled back slightly, but still held his body close to mine. Without warning, his hands reached up and cupped the side of my face. His fingertips brushed at my eyes, slowly wiping away the leftover tears,

We were so close I could have kissed him. I could have ended all the tension and pressed myself against those gorgeous pink lips and just let myself go, but instead I just shook myself out of his grasp and picked up my schoolbag off the ground.

“So,” I said readjusting my cardigan and trying to change the subject. “When’s our next adventure then, mate?”

“Well that’s why I was trying to find you,” Harry said. He brushed his brown curls away from his face and gave a gentle smile. “There’s actually a show tonight. I was hoping you’d come...unless you’ve got big birthday plans which I totally understand if you do!”

I chuckled. Here was Harry, asking me if I had birthday plans when I was out on the school lawn crying. I shook my head. “I’ll talk to Liam and see if he can give me a ride.”

Harry grinned. “Well great! I hope I’ll see you there. Also, I know you told me not to make a big deal about it or anything...

Harry’s voice trailed off as he began to dig into his messenger bag. He rattled a few things around before pulling out a small packaged, wrapped in the day’s paper. He thrusted it forward and gave a dazzling smile. “‘s for you! Happy birthday, Nialler.”

I blushed. Harry had gotten me something? I quickly tore in to the paper.

“It’s a left handed notebook,” he said as I pulled out the yellow spiral-bound notebook from the wrapping. It was true. The silver coil was on the opposite side of the book. I laughed a bit.

“How thoughtful,” I said with a smile as I flipped through the pages.

“I’ve seen you in class and your hands always get smudged with pencil lead...not that I’m looking at your hands...” Harry stumbled over his words and finally clamped his mouth shut.

I laughed even harder and shoved the notebook into my schoolbag. “Thank you.”

“Haz! Nialler!” Louis, Liam, and Zayn all approached where the two of us stood. The three had each decorated their uniforms in unique and different ways. They looked like supermodels, walking in the wind to where we were. I shot Harry a pleading look to not mention anything. His only response was a wink.

“Hey guys!” He said cheerfully. He embraced Louis in a hug and clapped both Liam and Zayn on the back. “Ready for class?”

Both Liam and Louis started walking in the direction of the building with Harry. I quickly balled up the newspaper wrapping and started heading for the rubbish bin. When I turned around, Zayn was standing next to me.

“What’s with the paper?” he asked, brushing his dark hair over to the right side of his head.

“Long story,” I said with a sigh. I headed toward the building and found that Zayn was following me. Confused, I turned around to face him. “Can I help you?”

“We need to talk.”

“Want to be less cryptic?”

Zayn shook his head. He leaned up against the lockers once we entered the building and gestured for me to come and stand next to him. I followed suit and relaxed my body against the cold metal. Zayn turned on his side and gave my body a quick glance up and down. I shivered.

“What’s going on with you and Haz?” he asked. Way to jump straight to the point. I wanted to deny it, but Zayn had to know. I turned my head and watched as Louis exited the classroom and walked over to the two of us. I felt trapped.

“I don’t know,” I finally stuttered out. Louis and Zayn exchanged glances before both looking back at me.

“Haz has been acting really weird lately,” Louis said. “He’s been skipping out on the band and just...well...not acting like himself.”

I looked confused. Harry hadn’t mentioned any of this when we were hanging out the other day. Given, I hadn’t known him as long as everyone else had, but wouldn’t I have noticed if he was acting strange? Or did they call hanging out with me, weird?

“I don’t understand,” I said shaking my head. “What does this have to do with me?”

“Haz is planning on breaking up with Taylor,” Zayn blurted out. “He talked to us about it yesterday while he was skipping school.”

I couldn’t believe what I had just heard. Harry had said we were just friends. Was he breaking up with Taylor for me? There was no way. I was jumping to conclusions, but I could feel my heart practically hammering in my chest.

“Once again, what does this have to do with me?” I stammered. I tried to play it cool. Maybe they knew if Harry liked me or not?

“You need to talk to him” Louis said. “You’re the only person he’s really talking to right now. Talk to him. Tell him he needs to think about things before he acts out.”

I didn’t understand why I was charged with this. Why I had to be the one to talk to Harry and why Louis and Zayn couldn’t do it, but I nodded my head in agreement anyway. “I’ll talk to him before the show.”

Louis smiled and gave me a quick hug. “Thanks, Nialler. You’re the best. Tay really owes you one.”

I suddenly felt sick all over again.

\---

Liam picking me up in the middle of the night was starting to become a routine.. He pulled up to the rowhouse in his beat up car and we took off into the night. Liam said nothing about Harry and Taylor, which made me feel better. It wasn’t like there was all this pressure on me to save the relationship of the boy I liked.

The club tonight was another rundown bar on the edge of town. Liam and I made our way into the crowd of Stockholm Syndrome fans and pressed ourselves against the edge of the stage. I glanced down at myself to see if I had enough time before the show to go find Harry. Unfortunately, I did. “Hey, I’m gonna go find Harry. I’ll be right back,” I yelled to Liam over the crowd.

He nodded and pointed me in the direction of backstage. I followed his lead and waded through the crowd. The bouncer was the same from Bar 318. He recognized me and quickly stepped out of the way to let me in.

Backstage, my hands started to shake. I slowly stepped across the tile floor and ran my fingers along the concrete walls to try and steady myself. What was I going to do? I navigated the maze-like hallways until I found the only dressing room backstage. Remembering last time, I softly pounded my fist against the door.

I was met with silence at first. I was about to knock again when Harry pulled open the door. He grinned from ear to ear. “Nialler.”

“Haz.”

“I like hearing that from you,” he said in a husky whisper. My whole body shivered.

“Can I come in?” I asked. He nodded and opened the door all the way to usher me inside. The room was small with gray concrete walls to block out the noise of the club. One mirror hung against the wall with a row of exposed lightbulbs above it. There was a small wooden dressing table covered in papers. I slowly made my way over to where they were scattered and recognized Harry’s chicken scratch. “Working on some new lyrics?”

“Hey, that’s private,” he said snatching the papers from my hand.

“What? It’s my birthday after all,” I said with a coy smile. Harry laughed.

“Speaking of which, I meant to give you something earlier,” Harry said. His speech was slow. Had it always been that slow?

“You gave me the present earlier,” I said. “Remember?”

“No, I know that,” he said shaking his head. “Nialler...”

His voice trailed off as he made his way over to where I stood. I was suddenly so aware of everything in the room. The way the table felt cool under my hands where I leaned my weight. They way that light bulbs hummed and were too bright for the dismal gray walls. The way the air was stale and smelled of the inside of my Mum’s gin bottle and evergreen. Evergreen.

Harry was so close now. I could feel his chest rising and falling. I could feel how warm he was and see the drops of sweat lightly freckling his brow.

“What are you doing Harry?” I whispered, my breath leaving with my words and emptying my chest.

“What I should have done the day I met you.”

Harry’s hands started on my neck then quickly weaved their way into my blonde hair. His green eyes locked with mine as he gently pulled my face toward him. When our lips met, I felt fireworks shooting off inside me. I felt the fluttering of wings in the birdcage of my chest. His lips were so soft and delicate, like if my teeth grazed them, they would burst.

Harry didn’t hesitate. He pulled me closer and wrapped his free hand around my exposed hip where my t-shirt had begun to ride up between us. His tongue slipped into my mouth and I opened myself up wider, just wanting him to devour me. He tasted like mint and the stark smell of grain alcohol.

I couldn’t pull away. I was captivated, mind, body, and soul. Harry was the one who broke for air but only for a moment as he crashed his lips back into mine. He brought both of his hands up to hold my face gingerly, as if I would break. “Harry,” I moaned, as our lips parted for breath again.

“Happy birthday, Ni,” he whispered. He placed his lips on my forehead before releasing my body and leaving the dressing room.


	7. Chapter 7

I had walked back to Liam in a daze. My legs were made of gelatin and I couldn’t stop shaking if I tried. Liam didn’t even notice. The New Romantics played their set and I barely heard a word. My mind was on Harry. My mind was on the fact that after the show, I was going to tell him I liked him and that I didn’t care if he broke up with Taylor. Well, that’s what I was telling myself.

The New Romantics ended their set and I watched with wide eyes as a dazed Harry stumbled up on to the stage. Liam and I were front and center, yet again, but this time Harry didn’t stoop down to say hello. He busied himself with the microphone stand and at one point actually picked it up and moved it away from where Liam and I stood.

I tried not to let it bother me. The guitar riffs picked up, but I felt distracted. I couldn’t lose myself in the music in the way I had before. My mind kept wandering back to Harry.

The set felt like it took forever. They played song after song and my anxiety only grew. By the time the set had ended, Liam was tugging on my arm excitedly to try and get me to go backstage, but it just felt wrong. How was I supposed to talk to Harry now? Especially about his relationship when he’d just cheated on his girlfriend with me?

Liam started to guide me through the mess of people when I gently shook free from his grasp. “You ok, mate?” he asked over the loud conversation of the club.

I shook my head. “I’m...I’m a little overwhelmed.”

“Understandable,” Liam said with a nod. “They were pretty insane. Want to call it a night?”

“Yes, please,” I said, already heading for the door. Liam smiled and walked with me out into the parking lot where we climbed into his beat up car. He switched from the tape deck to the radio and let the gentle sounds of pop music fill the empty air of the car. “Sorry I keep bailing on these things so early,” I finally said just to break the silence.

Liam, who was focused on the road only shrugged. “It’s no big deal,” he said. “I remember when I was in the band, everything was just always rush, rush, rush. I honestly hated when people came backstage to see us. I was always like ‘leave me alone’!” He said the latter part with a laugh.

I laughed a bit too. “I used to play music in Mullingar,” I said. “I mean, nothing like Stockholm Syndrome. It was more of just playing acoustic at a couple of open mic nights.”

“That’s really cool,” Liam said, glancing over at me. “Why’d you never mention that before?”

I sighed. “I just don’t really like talking about myself, I guess.”

We had pulled up to my house at this point. Liam stopped the car but looked over at my before I was able to sneak my way out and into the house. I should have told him right then. I should have told him about Harry, about how I was supposed to save his and Taylor’s relationship and instead how I mucked it all up.

Liam must have known a million thoughts were running through my mind just by looking at me because he placed a hand on my shoulder and gave it a reassuring squeeze. “You can always talk to me, Nialler,” he said.

I thanked him for the offer before bidding him goodnight and walking away from every opportunity I ever had to open up.

\----

I didn’t know how I was going to face Harry, but luckily I didn’t have to find out. He was a no show at school the next day which I was beginning to learn was a common “after-concert” ritual. Zayn and Louis didn’t ask me about Harry and Taylor. They were just as friendly as always and no one mentioned anything about the concert. It was like I was living out my dream, flying under the radar.

Of course, this didn’t last for long. I walked into English the next morning and surely enough, there was Harry, with bulky, mud covered, combat boots propped up on my desk. My desk. What was he thinking?

I had decided I didn’t want to talk to Harry. What had happened was a mistake and talking to Harry would only make it worse. I walked up to the desk and quickly shoved Harry’s legs of my desk. They landed with a thud on the ground and Harry had a startled expression on his face. “Well, good morning to you to, Nialler,” he grumbled.

I tried to ignore his comment as I plopped down in my seat. I began to reach for my books when I felt a pair of eyes staring me down. Surely enough, those eyes were the glassy green ones of Harry Styles. “Do you mind?” I asked through grit teeth.

“No,” he replied with a wink. I felt sick. Why was Harry still flirting with me? Had him and Taylor really broken up? I shook my head. If that had happened, Zayn and Louis would have said something, wouldn’t they?

I stared back down at my desk and tried to focus on my notes, but Harry’s staring was getting ridiculous. He hadn’t taken his eyes off of me. The bell finally rang for class to end after an excruciating hour. I grabbed my things and made my way to the door, Harry closely trailing at my heels.

“Styles, I’m not playing this game,” I said, clutching my books in my hands.

“I’m not playing a game,” Harry replied in a childish tone. He quickened his pace to walk in step with mine, following me to my next class.

“Seriously,” I started, growing more agitated by the second, but before I could speak what was on my mind, Harry was already halfway down the hall. I didn’t bother to chase after him. Instead, I walked in to my next class, frustration painted on my face. It didn’t matter anymore. He had a girlfriend, anyway.

Harry blew off school the next two days and I began to realize that the days I didn’t have him around were easier on my nerves, but not on my heart. I couldn’t help but miss him and if he wasn’t in my direct line of vision, I was thinking about him and our kiss. I couldn’t help myself. I kept hoping in secret that he and Taylor had really broken up and that no one had told me.

But on the outside, I hated him. If Liam asked where he’d been the past few days, I’d only shrug and respond with a “Fuck if I know”. I didn’t want anyone to know I was harbouring a massive crush on Harry, let alone that we had kissed.

If this was all confusing to someone else, imagine how it felt for me. It was lunch hour one day and I was sitting with Liam, Louis, and Zayn as per the usual. I was poking at the school produced lunch that wasn’t too terrible, I was just picky, when Liam’s phone went off in an obnoxiously loud series of beeps. Both Louis and Zayn glared at him then returned to their food. I was the only who asked who it was.

“My Mum,” he said. “My parents are going out tonight meaning it’ll just be me and my sisters. I do not feel like dealing with that.”

If only Liam knew how fortunate he was. I would have killed for an evening, just me and Greg. “We’d offer to go out, but we’ve got practice,” Louis said, leaning against the base of the tree we were sitting at.

Zayn nodded in agreement. He looked over at me and then smiled. “Why don’t you take Nialler out?”

“Me?” I asked. Liam grinned and clapped a hand on my shoulder.

“Don’t worry, mate. I’ve got a girlfriend, but it we can still go out.”

I rolled my eyes at Liam who was now laughing so hard he was threatening to spit out the water he was trying to drink.

“Fine, I’ll go out with you Liam but only because you asked so nice,” I said with a cheeky grin. Liam returned the smile and threw his now empty water bottle on to the ground.

“Nando’s for dinner?” Liam asked and I almost cried. Anyone who knew me knew how much I loved Nando’s. I could kill a man for a double chicken wrap. I nodded in agreement trying not to look too eager or like a total freak, but Liam totally caught on and laughed harder. “I take it you’re a fan?”

“Only a little.”

“I’ll pick you up at six.”

And that was how I ended up downtown with Liam at about six thirty, stuffing my face with spicy rice and chicken wings. God, I loved food. This was clearly something Liam never expected as he sat pretty stunned in the chair across from me, staring at the large buffet I’d laid out for myself.

“So Nando’s is your favorite, yeah?”

I nodded, wiping sauce from the corners of my mouth. I swallowed then went in for another bite. “It was always a treat to get Nando’s growing up. I didn’t live close to one in Ireland.”

Liam smiled. “Well now you’ve got one right downtown!”

I laughed and chowed down on another wing, dipping it in even more sauce and following the bite up with a scoop of rice. It was like heaven in my mouth. The tangy taste of the chicken, mixed with the flavorful spice of rice made the perfect bite.

“So, what did bring you over here?”  Liam said popping an olive into his mouth. Gross, I thought.

“My parent’s got divorced,” I said softly, trying to focus on my food. “I try not to talk about it. I’m still...not really ok with it, you know?” I looked up at Liam who was giving me a sympathetic smile.

“Tell me something happy then,” he replied. “You like food, yeah?”

“Oh, you have no idea,” I said with a laugh. I was telling him all about my latest Jamie Oliver cookbook with wide hand gestures when we heard the door to the restaurant open. We laughed at how silly I must have looked to whoever walked in, flailing about wildly talking about ceviche, when I looked over to see who had entered.

At first I didn’t recognize her. She had short blonde hair, covered up by a wide brimmed felt black hat, something like Stevie Nicks would have worn. She wore a maroon top, held loosely over her flat chest and a pair of black shorts, pulled high to pinch in her thin waist and accentuate her long legs, supported by a pair of black high heels. Why was a supermodel in Nando’s?

That’s when it hit me. I was staring at Taylor. “Liam!” she called out in her American accent. She immediately ran over to where we sat and wrapped her arms around Liam before he even had the chance to stand. “How are you? I feel like I haven’t seen you in ages!”

Liam gestured for her to pull up a chair, and she followed his lead. She drug the dark metal chair across the wooden floor and up to the two top Liam and I were sitting at. She smiled, stretching out her red painted lips. She did it even when she wasn’t at a show.

“So how’re you? How’s school?”

“It’s good,” Liam said with a nod. “Boring. Year 11’s the worst.”

“God, I remember high school. It felt like it would never end,” she said with a laugh. “Oh wow, I’m being rude.” She turned to me with her bright smile and outstretched a perfectly slender hand. “I’m Taylor by the way.”

I took her hand and shook it softly. She was so...nice? “I’m Niall.”

“No way. You’re Niall?”

Here it was. She knew. She knew and she was going to kill me. She was going to cause a scene in Nando’s and I’d never be able to eat at my favorite place ever again and it was a disaster.

“Look, I don’t know what you’ve heard from Harry...” I started defensively, but Taylor quickly cut me off.

“Harry adores you!” she said cheerfully. “He never shuts up about how much fun you two have and how nice you are. God, I’m so happy he met you. You’re such a good influence on him. He really needs it right now.”

My face flushed red. I looked to Liam who was practically beaming with pride. “That’s our Nialler!” he said. “Always taking care of everyone.”

I shook my head and stared down at my half eaten chicken wrap. I started to feel sick. How could Harry have kissed me when he was with Taylor? She was so sweet and obviously cared about him. I tried to tell myself I didn’t know the whole story, but I couldn’t help but feel uneasy the more I heard Taylor talk.

Her life was fascinating. She was from the United States and loved music. She studied literature at MMU, making her much older than I and older than Harry. She’d been with the New Romantics for about six months and Harry for three or four. She had two cats and a whole slew of friends, a girl named Karlie being her best mate.

“Tell me about you Niall!” She said when she was done gossiping with Liam about the local band scene. “Your accent says you’re from Ireland, right?”

I nodded. I shot Liam a pleading looking saying I didn’t want to tell my whole life story again. Liam took the hint. “Well, Taylor, I’ve actually got to get Nialler here home,” he said gathering up our trash on to his tray. “Plus, we’ve successfully distracted you from your meal.”

Taylor gave an adorable laugh and nodded. “Totally forgot I was even hungry, but yeah! I’ll let you guys run! We’ve got a show with Stockholm Syndrome tomorrow night, by the way. You guys’ll be there, right?”

She looked at me when she asked and I took a deep breath. “Wouldn’t miss it,” I managed to choke out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, as always, thank you guys so much for reading this! Feel free to share the story to social media, follow me on tumblr, and ask any questions you may have! Love you guys <3


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